The Aussie Curves theme this week is “Then and Now”, but I keep thinking of it as now and then, which causes to me to get Bonnie Tyler’s ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’ stuck in my head (because of the repeated lyrics “every now and then I get a little bit…. *insert various thing*).
So. Yes. Ahem. Excuse me.
It’s funny, but I do often reflect on how my style has changed in the last couple of years, probably most since i’ve moved to Melbourne. I believe that’s because I suddenly had access to more shops (new and thrift) and also because I felt I could finally, fully unleash my creativity and personal style in this glorious and thriving city.
But what I don’t often reflect on is what came before that. Like, early teen and high school.
So I jumped into a long lost box of photos that haven’t seen the light of day for, ohhh, probably about 6 years.
Firstly, I was not nearly drunk enough to deal with some of the stuff that was in there.
Secondly, it was SO DAMN DIFFICULT to find any full length photos of me in that era. There were thousands of photos, but so few of me. The most prevalent were group shots, and oh what do you know… I always just so happened to be riiiiiiiight at the back!
I won’t bore you with the story of “and then I transformed, like a caterpillar shedding it’s cocoon”, because I feel like I crap on about those reflections quite a fair bit. But what I will say is that THANK GOODNESS I made it through those terrible years of self-hatred. I now see “fashion” (I use inverted commas because fashion to me is just personal style, not actual fashion fashion) as purely a means of expression, and something enjoyable that I choose to do when I want to. Which, granted, is quite a lot.
Some days I feel like getting dressed up and doing my makeup when i’m not even leaving the house. But some days I just go out in a scrubby house dress and not a skerrick of makeup. Point is, the things I put on my body no longer reflect how I feel about myself as a person, and they certainly don’t contribute to or impact my feelings of self-worth.
Now, clothes are just for fun.