Turn Around, Bright Eyes

The Aussie Curves theme this week is “Then and Now”, but I keep thinking of it as now and then, which causes to me to get Bonnie Tyler’s ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’ stuck in my head (because of the repeated lyrics “every now and then I get a little bit…. *insert various thing*).

So. Yes. Ahem. Excuse me.

It’s funny, but I do often reflect on how my style has changed in the last couple of years, probably most since i’ve moved to Melbourne. I believe that’s because I suddenly had access to more shops (new and thrift) and also because I felt I could finally, fully unleash my creativity and personal style in this glorious and thriving city.

But what I don’t often reflect on is what came before that. Like, early teen and high school.

So I jumped into a long lost box of photos that haven’t seen the light of day for, ohhh, probably about 6 years.

Firstly, I was not nearly drunk enough to deal with some of the stuff that was in there.

Secondly, it was SO DAMN DIFFICULT to find any full length photos of me in that era. There were thousands of photos, but so few of me. The most prevalent were group shots, and oh what do you know… I always just so happened to be riiiiiiiight at the back!

 

So I had my hardcore tomboy years in which pants, 3/4 short and t-shirts were all I would ever be caught dead in. Seriously, I wore shorts and t-shirts to go swimming. That outfit on the right (above) with the tight(er) jeans and the blue check shirt… I remember my mum buying me those because she wanted me out of baggy clothes, and that was my only compromise. I still remember how uncomfortable it felt to be so “restricted”, but I also remember getting some serious compliments from my friends. That’d never happened before! And then I started to “develop my style” (hahahaha) by making my own circle skirts (which I would often tuck up into my undies to achieve some weird draping effect I really liked – see top left grey skirt below) and op shopping for black shirts. Seriously, I want to give me a hug right now.

The bottom is my year 12 formal dress that I designed based loosely on a dress Christina Ricci wore in the movie Sleepy Hollow. It was a stunning and unique Victorian bustle dress, and possibly the first time in my life that I ever felt beautiful.

I won’t bore you with the story of “and then I transformed, like a caterpillar shedding it’s cocoon”, because I feel like I crap on about those reflections quite a fair bit. But what I will say is that THANK GOODNESS I made it through those terrible years of self-hatred. I now see “fashion” (I use inverted commas because fashion to me is just personal style, not actual fashion fashion) as purely a means of expression, and something enjoyable that I choose to do when I want to. Which, granted, is quite a lot.

Some days I feel like getting dressed up and doing my makeup when i’m not even leaving the house. But some days I just go out in a scrubby house dress and not a skerrick of makeup. Point is, the things I put on my body no longer reflect how I feel about myself as a person, and they certainly don’t contribute to or impact my feelings of self-worth.

Now, clothes are just for fun.

 

 

 

 

 

OUTFIT DETAILSDress: thrifted (note, I had to stitch the front closed… #boobieproblems)Boots: Dr Martens, hand-painted by moiLipstick: Lime Crime Velvetine | Suedeberry

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